The nightmare before “Yom Kippur” & Judaism goes Hipster
Firstly, Judaism is Hipster now. I just saw an article that implied Kosher is the New Vegan…and the Jewish Journal came out with the hipster edition for the High Holy Days.
I’m not going to lie, the High Holy Days have been hard for me. Firstly, most the country is not Jewish, so the High Holy Days don’t happen when everyone is on December break, they happen smack bam in the middle of deadlines and massive workloads. Stressssss. My face looks like the face of a street bum with a crack addiction (massive breakouts, scabs from where I’ve squeezed pimples). I’m disgusting…and I’m so making an effort to not be. My physical appearance was much better when I was an alco. Must be something in alcohol that keeps you stress free and looking rejuvenated. Who knows? Oh the ironies of trying to lead a clean life.
Side Note: Why am I more compelled to blog when I’m struggling? Maybe cause drama creates a story. Without that it’s just an ordinary account and ordinary accounts are quite boring by nature.
So this week has been shitty and hard. As I write, I’m supposed to be rewriting 2 of my sketches for my all-female sketch group. I had my deadline extended to today because of my pilot spec deadline. That came back with minor notes for 2nd draft rewrite. All good, I suppose. But I’m obviously not great with multi-tasking because instead of excelling in one area I seem to be half-assing in many areas. My part time day job was one big fermished episode today. I almost ruined a Rabbi’s facebook image. I’m sorry, I thought the polka dots were funky…or I didn’t realize they were funky. Ugh. Why is this happening? It’s so weird to get berated at 34…how did I manage to do a good job in my twenties on a military base as a journalist/PR person working on behalf of commanders and people who run the country…and now I’m like a retarded toddler in my thirties who struggles with EVERYTHING and constantly needs to be scolded.
I don’t get it and sometimes I’m seriously surprised that I’m not a drug addict, because the way life feels sometimes, lately, and the way I feel with everyone’s disappointment all around me, I probably wouldn’t blame myself if I turned to heroin. But heroin requires money and upkeep…and I’m just too lazy for that.
Yom Kippur is when you reconcile your demons…and maybe I have more of them than I realized because life is kicking me in the ass today. I don’t know…but as of 6pm tonight I’m going on a Yom Kippur starvation diet.
Can I just find myself already? I want the confident version of myself back. The version that kicked ass not got kicked in the ass. F ME! I’m seriously getting over it.
Eloheinu! Help! Again!
OH: I’m going to post a song for sin-spiration. This song came out after a lot of shyte went down last year…and it was so relevant at the time and it’s relevant to Yom Kippur. We all have demons…and sometimes they even seem justifiable with the nature of life and the unfairness of it all. So here’s to acknowledging demons and battling them out. My favorite cover of the song DEMONS + one of the singers kinda looks Jewish.